October Tower Echoes: Pastor’s Page

Normally, the Prayer of Commendation, spoken over a casket or urn, takes place in the space where the assembly to which the deceased belonged gathers for worship. That didn’t happen for my Mom’s burial in September. Due to the social distancing restrictions of the pandemic, the funeral was held outdoors at the graveside with an attendance not surpassing thirty people. The Pastor did indeed lead the Prayer of Commendation over the casket before the committal service. It is indeed the same beautiful prayer. I just wished there had been a fuller service of Holy Communion where all of my mother’s friends, including her siblings in Christ from her parish community, could participate. That was not possible.

The diminishment of communal grief, remembrance, and prayer during this pandemic time really made an impact on me. Already, in our culture, we seem to have exorcised community from the experience of mourning. The pandemic has magnified the ways we have individualized the rituals and experiences around death and dying. 

We can learn a thing or two from cultures where mourning and celebration around the dead become great communal feasts. The Day of the Dead in Mexico is one example, taking place over a period of days, when it is believed that deceased loved ones awaken to celebrate with all who gather.

One of the reasons I cherish All Saints Day is that it provides an opportunity to bring our grief into public, to give thanks for the faithful departed and to remember them before God and the gathered assembly within the context of the church’s feast of victory. At PRLC we encourage people to bring photos of deceased loved ones and to light candles in their memory. We begin the liturgy of All Saints by naming those from PRLC who have died in the past year and give opportunity for members of the assembly to name others who have died. Gathering to share the meal of Christ’s body and blood is especially meaningful to me on this day as the mystery of the communion of saints becomes tangible. God brings all the saints of past and present together to share the meal with us. Even if the funeral rituals for one or more of those we name felt lacking, at least on All Saints Day, gratitude and grief and remembrance of those who have died is shared before God and one another within the communion of saints in time and space and even transcending time and space.

This year we celebrate All Saints Day virtually. We invite you to send photos of loved ones who have died. Their names will be spoken and candles lighted in their honor. Though we cannot meet in person, we dwell in the hope that we will do so again, and we are grateful that with the provisions we have during this time, we can still give thanks, remember, and commend our beloved ones to God’s eternal care.

Here are a couple of other things you may wish to do. Build a “home altar” with pictures and token of remembrance of your beloved departed. You might also wish to incorporate prayers from the funeral liturgy into your daily prayers. Since my Mom’s death in September, I’ve been reciting the Commendation prayer each day. I suspect I’ll do this for quite a while.  If you wish to do the same, the prayer is below. When you pray it, fill in the blank where it says name by speaking the name or names of your beloved saints.

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant(s) name. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive him/her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light. Amen.

Peace,
Pastor Hansen